Understanding Root Causes of Misogyny

Having an imbalance in male and female sexual equality exacerbates misogyny. In media today, there is a huge, overt, repeated message told to all of us everyday: that male and female sexuality are not equal.  That women are to be revealed, while men are covered up.  That women’s bodies are lovely and erotic, and men’s are not.  That women are to entice male arousal and enjoy doing so, while it is not important or required for a man to rely on being sexy.  And if males ever do anything to express their own sexuality, people often freak out, even women.  Why can’t girls voyeuristically enjoy male bodies as much as men enjoy attractive female bodies, and why can’t women stop always making it only about the female body? This one-sided sexuality we have going is detrimental to the normal development of males and females alike!

True female sexual equality with men will be when women’s naked breasts have the same sexual equivalence in media as does the naked penis, and when media eases off the continuous repetition and reminder that women are primarily sex vixens, teases, strippers, sex workers, or manipulative bitches. There is literally almost no show on television that does not refer to women as bitches, you bitch, or you stupid bitch. Even TV shows are using the word Bitch in the title of their shows now, and it is very common to see “reality” TV where women call each other bitch. Cartoons that are rated TV-14 also refer to women as bitches frequently, making that nomenclature seem all the more ordinary and expected.  But hmm, we don’t want developing boys and grown men to think of women as denigrated sex objects and bitches, right? Because that’s misogyny, right?  And yet, 90% of the programming on television reiterates in one way or another that women are largely consumed in the activities and efforts related to being sex objects and bitches, and that women even choose to self-sexualize ourselves in this way.

So there is a disconnect between what women want and what guys see women doing on TV, in other media, and also in real life.  Sure, men are primarily the ones writing and producing the TV shows and films, but I don’t hear much outcry from women. I don’t see “housewives” on TV refusing to call each other bitch out of feminist respect and empowerment for other women.  And, at the time of this blog post, few people have signed my petition to get the word Bitch taken off TV by the FCC (https://www.change.org/petitions/mandate-the-fcc-to-disallow-the-broadcasting-of-the-female-derogative-b-word-on-tv). And apparently none of the countless female-owned production studios in Hollywood are ever going to make one controversial film that depicts women who like looking at hot naked guys or who do crimes against hot guys who reject us, complete with sexualized images of men, even naked ones.  And yet, women will continue to earn money stripping, posing, being nude in films, making girly-porn for TV (even though there are no male equivalent channels us girls can watch on Satellite or Cable), and wearing outrageous, sexy costumes when we go out.  And we wonder why maybe guys form the impression that all girls like to show off their bodies and they do it to manipulate men? (Which is what most guys think, I have found)

Much of misogyny is rooted in the outrageous eroticism of the female body, both the actual, real eroticism of the naked or evocative posturing female form, and the outrageous over-saturation of that form in our society, as if it is all women are worth.  Girls don’t fully know the guilt and shame that guys carry with them with regards to their own autonomic physiological responses to the youthful, sexualized female form. Some men learn to hate women because of the pain the internal dissonance causes – look but don’t touch; must respect, even though you can’t help but fantasize doing dirty sexy things; jealousy that other guys are looking at your girl, etc.  These internal forces can be uncomfortable for men,and yet they feel required to keep it to themselves, to suck it up and be a man, and never reveal these feelings to society or to their wives and girlfriends. Thus these forces can build and channel release in other ways, such as domestic violence, aggrevated sexual assault or misogyny.

Misogyny in men will not diminish until women stop proliferating all of media with female nudity and female adult sexuality. The imbalance between frequent and graphic sexualized females in media combined with not-sexualized males is unnatural and sets up an automatic hierarchy of imbalance of power between men and women.  True female sexual power will be when women’s naked breasts have the same sexual equivalence in media as does the naked penis.  Until women want this, and until women stop playing their “body and sex card” ad nauseum in media, misogyny and male attitudes about women will not change.

As women continue to gain human rights and professional equality, and to develop their own unique individuality while no longer under the control of husbands, brothers, fathers and male clerics, it is natural that men feel they are losing a power they used to hold in society and over women.  So, yeah, they make movies and shows that let them feel that power again, and there are no laws to stop them from doing so.  But women are letting TV and media influence the whole entire next generation of men and teens.  And we are not addressing the psychological impact on developing males’ psyches with regards to how dealing with all these sexualized images of women is freaking young guys out and yes, creating confusing attitudes about women in their minds.  And we are also really doing women a disfavor in the long-run, because most women are totally awesome and are not anything like all the naked chicks we all get assaulted with on TV.  We are grooming men to grow up with pathological issues of misogyny, sex addiction, porn addiction, and desensitization to intimacy with a woman who is not a sex worker. Is this really what we want in our future husbands?

Boys and men will almost always access – or even draw and doodle themselves – images porn if they can (this has been occurring since Egyptian times, if not even earlier).  We all know boys like sick humor, humiliation in general (not just over women), and just making fun with their lad friends, their mates, their bros, whatever.  And sex is a driving thing on male minds, that too is a fact.  We owe it to the guys and to ourselves, to honor both male and female sexuality, and to help developing kids navigate between the difference between actual women and actual reality, versus the scandalous, really twisted, super-sexualized images of women, and the bizarre only-women-are-naked media that we show audiences.  When you add in the ease of Internet porn with all the nude women on TV, and the stripper-culture of music and media – it can certainly be hard for a young boy to try and “figure out” women in any way that is actually real and respectful.  What they see women doing over and over again is “selling their bodies” and manipulating male desire and arousal to get what they want. And maybe a lot of guys kinda or seriously resent that about women.

I watch a lot of TV, though I do not seek out any sexual material on TV.  I am shocked and appalled what 8 to 15 year old, developing boys are exposed to and have access to, just on their TV set, without having to be crafty or have subscriptions to PPV.  With all the proliferation of sexualized women in our society, how can boys not grow up with callous attitudes about women and sexuality?  After all, young boys are actually quite naive and romantic in their natural state.  They adore the beautiful girl in fifth grade.  They shyly walk a pretty girl home in the 7^th grade.  Younger boys adore their mommies. 

But then reality hits.  Even just watching Dancing with the Stars is shocking!  Why are women the only naked ones in society? Why are they always showing off their bodies, always sexualizing themselves?  Is it any wonder men maybe have some negative perceptions about female sexuality?

There is a component to misogyny that women seem determined to ignore and deny, and that is, how might women themselves possibly be complicit in attitude formation in males about women?  It seems to be the common feminist position that women are great just as we are, and we have the right to be female, as we are, without having this constant misogyny attitude in men to contend with.  I agree, we have the right to be what is naturally female, who we really, truly are.  But is that what we are really, truly doing? – That is my question.  So another question is:  How much do women really care about reducing and eliminating misogyny if we aren’t even willing to face and discuss potential society contributors that lead to male attitudes about women?